An alumni checking in…
Monday, March 28th, 2005Hello everyone,
I hope my writing is seen as appropriate and not flaunting anything -
- that isn’t my intention.
Last June, I joined this list because I was just starting on a wierd
new pill called Lexapro. I asked a lot of questions and got a lot of
good answers, and even made two good friends who I still chat with
from time to time.
I was looking back at my progress, and, WOW. Life is good. I look
back at how I let myself behave in different situations and just
can’t imagine my life being like that for so long. My deal was
social anxiety — I coudn’t have any sort of interaction with anyone
without feeling I was being judged or ridiculed in some way.
I’m still on my same dose.. and I had to go off it for a while when
I had some surgery and those side effects came back just like
clockwork (no circus the second time either but I knew what I was in
for.)
In talking with a friend we decided that a lot of it wasn’t just the
pill… it was my wanting the pill to work — the attitude that
allowed this little circle of compressed chemicals to float around
my bloodstream and let it do what I had to do — but to work with it
and not fight it, not sit there like a kid at a circus daring the
clowns to make him laugh.
The transition is so gradual you wont’ even notice it… but when it
hits…. and you look back and say “did I do that?” It’s so
wonderful.
Again. My intention is not to brag or say “ha ha I’m healed and
you’re not.” I’m not healed. I’m still working at it, day by day –
but like they say in that Phillips TV ad, it’s getting better…
There IS life after anxiety and depression.
I didn’t believe it.
Murph