Been on Lexapro since march, and on Remeron for sleeping. My
insurance is cutting me off and in 2 weeks im going to try to switch
it….anyone else ever experience this reaction to forgetting a
pill? To be very emotional?
Last night, While i was at work,my bosses said something snappy to
me, and i lost it, i couldnt help but cry and excused myself to the
restroom to regain my stability. I have been working so hard there
to prove myself worthy of employment, considering my extreme needs
for money right now, since i got a 175.00 ticket of doom. However,
that day i forgot to take my medications for my “mental” condition.
And it seems as though, i had been week enough to allow such a pett
thing to overcome me. My nice boss came to apologize and I told him
not to worry about it only that talking about it made it worse and i
was sobbing, trying to mutter out, “i ….i….i forgot…my …my
meds…..”
I reclaimed my dignity for 2 seconds and was able to drive home,
crying ever so slightly,. thinkin what the hell did i just do? I
got out of the car and mumbled to the door as i took off my hat my
glasses and etc to relax my self and went straight to my room, my
sister asked if i was ok, and i said i was fine but couldnt hold
much back as it was plain as the rose in my cheeks that i wasnt.
When she walked out to watch t.v. with the family I brook out in
shakes and shivers my heart was beating 100 miles a minute and i was
having troubles breathing, and i couldnt make it stop.
I’ve never felt like this in a long long time, since the girl.
I didnt know what was happening and i walked to the ktichen and
yelled for my sister, that “i think im….having a panic atttack
or….something” She took me back to my room and i curled in a ball,
i couldnt breathe i ahd to focus hard, like the feeling where ur
trying to hold off crying but ur chest closes up and ur heart just
falls.
It lasted about 20 min all together. So strange. Once i regained
stability I tried to eat. but to little sucess.
Such a stupid little incident triggered my emotions, i forgot to
take my pill, and so i took it as soon as i got home…it took a few
to kick in, but those minutes, i couldnt have been any closer to
being in a state of shock or a heart attack. Scary. So that was last
night and today was the tea party, it went well, hung out with my
mom a bit at night and told her what happened and she shared how it
had happened to her before, and it was calming to talk to her about
it. I <3 my mommy. We talked about everything going on right now, my
problems with living with my sister and her entourage and offered to
let me live with her,…but that just wouldnt work. I ;vve got too
much stuf. So i’ll just have to deal. Anyways, i have a appt in 2
weeks with my psychiatrist and im going to have her try something
new, i keeping crying too easily, and then the “attack” the other
night, theres gotta be more to life that this. Until next time…